- This topic has 18 replies, 8 voices, and was last updated 9 years, 1 month ago by
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Last weekend a buyer purchased an item and emailed me directly to request to cancel. I redirected him to eBay and he did and I relisted. He then emailed me directly (several times) to ask if I would sell the items separately. I messaged him through eBay to decline and said I would only communicate through eBay (after learning about the protection that offers here–thank you). He then emailed directly (again, several times) offering to purchase both at a price that would have been auto-accepted on eBay. I ignored it.
He tried to contact me through Facebook Messenger. I also ignored that.
Then he bought the item again at full price and I shipped it.
Several times he sent through eBay a message that just said ‘911’. I ignored those but did respond when he asked about shipping.
I was creeped out, but a friend suggested he might be special needs.
Today he messaged me twice through eBay ‘Is there a reason that I haven’t herd from u in a while?’ and I’m creeped out again.
He should get his purchase from me soon.
Should I respond or ignore the latest message? If I respond, what should I say? I don’t think good customer service requires an ongoing conversation. But I also don’t want bad feedback or for eBay to see me as unresponsive. -
Do not engage with buyers unless they ask a specific question through eBay. And that question must specifically be about some action that eBay requires of us. Often we will not answer any question after a sale unless they open a case.
It’s like on Amazon. There’s a product. You buy or don’t. There’s not an expectation for long conversations.
We call it the Silent Method: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mIfXDj7DylE
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His direct emails are already going to spam. I am going to block him, but do I have to wait out the 30 days of my return policy? I would guess blocking only applies to further purchases not any current transaction.
Should have blocked him after he canceled, but his history on eBay, while sparse, didn’t send up any red flags. -
I would also suggest getting a PO box address to use for your mailing labels and returns. I’ve heard lots of horror stories about people actually showing up at front doors angry and demanding refunds.
If you really wanna be safe, you might want to also use a gender neutral or masculine sounding Ebay store name. there have been cases of men harassing female sellers with creepy messages or worse. You can never be too careful.
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He messaged me several times last night and then this morning he requested my return address. Which he will have as soon as he gets his item and tracking says that will be today. Fortunately, he lives several states away.
Good idea about the PO box. I already have one for the nonprofit I run, so I could get one at the same post office and make one stop. They are cheap to rent.
Considering I live on a block where I am the only occupant and all the other houses are abandoned or burned out, I don’t know why this long distance weirdness bothers me more than the average bump in the night.
Thanks for all the great suggestions. -
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I haven’t had to deal with a creepy stalker guy on ebay, but I did have a bona fide crazy cat lady once, repeatedly messaging me about her dead cat, (not joking!).
Did you block this guy on facebook? Also, there is a way to change your profile settings so that no one can search for you. That way, if he sets up a new profile to message you, he won’t be able to find you.
If he decides he wants to return the item, I would seriously consider telling him to keep the item, refund his money, and then send him a message essentially “firing” him as a customer. I had to do this with my crazy cat lady. (She bought a mug from me, because she felt it looked like her dead cat. But the eyes were “wrong”, and not like her cat, so she wanted a new mug, with eyes like her dead cat, but not this mug, because the eyes were wrong…repeat that about 20 times).
My final message to her was “I have refunded your money for the mug, and shipping. I am not able to provide you with a mug that meets your specifications. Unfortunately, this means we will not be able to do business with each other today, or in the future, under any circumstances. I am no longer able to accept messages from you, in any form, under any circumstances. Good luck in your search for a mug that meets your requirements”. It’s an altered version of letters that we sent out when crazy clients had to be fired from the veterinary hospital.
He may be happy with the item, or he may continue to ask weird questions about it, as a way to continue the conversation and get attention. If he is mentally ill or special needs, he deserves compassion and to be treated with dignity, but you are not obligated to engage with him in a weird relationship that tramples over your boundaries. And definitely report him to ebay!
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That’s so funny about the mug. My best friend is a doctor and gave me a similar letter template from her practice to use with problematic constituents at the nonprofit I run. Gets so the red flag goes up during the first phone call.
The creepy buyer has been quiet since he received the item. Today he left me positive, if misspelled, feedback. I’ve blocked him, so this should be settled.
Fair warning on Facebook: I’ve shut down my account in the past and verified that nothing was visible. (Animal rescue is also a hobby. Doesn’t always go smoothly.) But when I shut down my account last fall, I kept FB Messenger because of a few people who I can only reached there. Everything on my FB account is still visible apparently because of Messenger.
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I used to work veterinary ER, and there was more than one night I had to call the cops on lunatic clients. Nothing like New Years Eve at the ER! Oh boy!
I miss the animals. I do not miss their owners.
You have a big heart for doing animal rescue. Rescue and shelter work is some of the hardest work out there. We were always so grateful for the rescues that we worked with. You have my deepest respect.
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Like others have said I would just keep it professional, just hit the accept button on the return. Don’t engage in a conversation unless absolutely necessary.
We have had several crazy encounters over the years. My favorite was a prison inmate who would mail us letters about three times a month. Someone bought a book through us and had us ship it to him. I guess he thought we shipped him the book instead of the generous buyer. Luckily his letters let us know he was in for back to back life terms..so no real hope of him getting out… right?
Get a PO box…
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Arrgh. He just opened a return case saying he changed his mind:
Did u get theese back yet? U can sell the Purple and Black one.I sent him purple and red.
We’ll see what comes back. -
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These are a pair of Radio Shack walkie talkies. Since he asked me to split up the set, I’m suspecting he has kept the red walkie talkie and is returning a black one. He also seems to have shipped it outside the eBay return process. At least it’ll be interesting to see how this goes.
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Update:
I received the return shipment today. He shipped it priority mail but not with an eBay label. He wrote out the address wrong, so that’s why it’s taken 2 weeks.
He sent me back both of the walkie talkies–just thrown in the box–and another walkie talkie of the same brand but different model–wrapped carefully in bubble wrap. All survived the trip just fine.So, I’ve already refunded what he paid and will relist. Since he chose ‘changed mind’, I didn’t have to refund the shipping.
And he’s blocked, so hopefully we’re done.
Thanks for all the support and advice!
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