- This topic has 21 replies, 8 voices, and was last updated 8 years, 5 months ago by
.
-
Posts
-
-
On this podcast you talked with a woman that had an item switched out for a damaged one. Totally unfair. I want to know how everyone deals with the unfair things that happen to you. I can’t get over a personal situation of unfairness. I really want to be able to let it go. What positive things do people do to get past it. Just want to mention, I’m an Agnostic. Praying is just not going to work for me.
-
I’m atheist so I don’t pray…but I wish for bad luck and bad karma on the people who rip me off!
I have an issue with a buyer that before buying an item (a stereo), wanted to know a lot of details about the condition of the instruction manual with it. When they got the stereo, they claimed it didn’t work and I had to pay for shipping to send it back. I get it back, works fine, and it is missing the paper manual….they live less than an hour drive away…gets my mind rolling…
But…I need to take solace in knowing I am a better person – the people who do this type of thing are pathetic and the lowest of the low – their lives usually are horrible.
These people usually are habitual – and they must be very stupid to use their home address or address connected to them to have merchandise sent to them and swapped out.
I use to spend the time filing a complaint with their local police department – in hope that others did the same and one day they would get busted. Problem with that is that when they do get busted, the police want information, want to talk to you, etc. and if the case goes to trial you get contacted from all over the place. You would need to determine if you want to get involved for the price of the item.
I sometimes wonder what these people would do face to face with me – I’m 6’6″ and built like a linebacker…LOL…
Oh well, for every buyer like this, I average about 300 others that are great…
-
-
I would like to offer that the most important part is that you acknowledge that your feelings are real and that you have a right to experience them. I would also like to offer that what another does towards you that may serve to harm or take from you is about them and not about you. If someone chose to lie and take something from you or chose to betray you without any consideration of how it would impact you, that is about them and not about you. Although another has chosen these actions, you are the one with the most power because you are the one who can choose how much energy and time you will give to another person or to a situation. This may not be easy because one may want whatever happened to be fixed or for a person to apologize them to. After you have made your best effort to right the wrong (followed established procedures and/or processes) or asked for an apology, what happens next is completely in your power. You can choose to hold onto it and hope and wish that the outcome you want will occur or you can choose to identify what you can learn from the experience, how you can do things different in the future, and how you wish to move forward in your life.
I believe in Karma. I think it is true that if one serves to take from and/or harm another, they setup a karmic energy that will bring it back to them in some way shape or form. You may never know that Karma came knocking at their door because you have moved on with your life and they are not in it, but Karma will and does show up. I have seen it play out. There is no need to worry about getting revenge or teaching them a lesson because their intentions and actions will be brought back to them.
I believe this also happens for good. Just think about a time when you were kind, did good for others, or performed a selfless act just because you could and then you found that someone or something you needed when you needed it showed up just at the right time. This to me is Karma.
-
I’m still waiting for Karma to kick in 😉
Seems like these days, the nastier you are the further you go. Or maybe its in the news more.
-
Karen,
I would offer to look at the Karma that is pounding at the doors of those who thought they could engage in nasty behavior just because they could. Even though you may not see it each time, no one walks the planet, is able to treat others in a manner that takes from and/or harms, and does not feel the ramifications of it.
The more you can focus on you, the less power others have over your life. Keep doing what makes you happy and moving forward in your life. When it comes up in thought, remind yourself that your time and energy are best spent focused on you, your business, and your life and not that situation and/or person.
-
-
-
You just have to learn from experience to separate yourself from the business. When you run the whole show, it is difficult to set that boundary. For practice, next time you have a grumpy buyer, just take a deep breath and tell yourself to respond like you are the employee/representative of a business. Do no respond as yourself.
The more you do it, the easier it gets. I documented my bait/switch experience here.
1. Educate yourself on the rules.
2. Most of the time, the customer is honest and likely has a legitimate complaint. Assume they are being honest unless proven otherwise.
3. Treat the customer the way you would like to be treated if you were in their shoes.
4. Make a plan of attack and stick to it. Take logical steps to rectify the issue then follow the plan. Make sure you have designated the amount of effort you are willing to put in to fight an issue.
5. Give yourself a jump off point. If you do XY&Z without a resolution you’ll eat the transaction. Once you do steps XY&Z keep your commitment of letting go.The old cliche "I'm being scammed"…but it just may be happening this time
-
-
I find that if a random person on the internet is renting space in my head, then I have some work to do. I find therapy to be very important. Going to a neutral professional who will pass no judgement on whatever I say is powerful.
Usually I have other worries anxieties that are much stronger than just a simple grumpy buyer. Maybe I’m worried about the overall business. Or a client we’re dealing with. Or something in my personal life.
Once I’m talked out, then grumpy buyers are just kind of silly. So we lost $20 (or $50 or $100) on an item. Big deal. My peace of mind is priceless.
-
I can get past the eBay stuff. I was talking personal. Yet it related to your podcast. In the sense that we have to let unfair things that happen to us go.
-
-
-
-
-
So that went a little bit deep. Okay guess I’m not conveying this right.
For instance. When I am trying to get something done that I’m unsure of. I have a mantra “fake it till you make it” and I plow through.
I do occasionally have the Frozen theme go through my head “Let it go! Let it go!”
Okay I’ll let this go 😉
-
Yeah, letting go can be hard, but you just have to move on.
I had another Realtor cheat me out of a $10,000 commission once. Yes, that is $10k. I had a signed contract and sought legal help. The attorney I contacted was very, very intimidated by the response he received from the attorney representing the crooked Realtor-they threatened to counter sue, etc. I was told it would cost me $6-$7k if we went to court, with only a 50/50 chance of success. I decided it just wasn’t worth it. I really had to work through the anger, “not fair”, etc. BUT, I kept the file in case I changed my mind. I saw the file in the bookcase about every 3 days. After a couple of months, I finally destroyed it. Only then did I find peace.
That experience taught me something about “moving on”-don’t hold on to anything that pulls the discouraging event back into your conscience.
-
-
Ah, ok I see what you’re getting at here. Without context in a general term, I’m naturally an optimist. I always try to find the positive, no matter how small, in any setback placed before me.
Since I’m an engineer by trade, I like fixing things. I look for tangible ways I can improve a situation. Doing something physical or completing a difficult mental task always helps me work through something that is mentally bothering me. I have to complete the task though, or else I just increase the stress. Don’t just idly work at something. Set maintainable short term tasks and work it through. Even 5 minute tasks make a mountain of a difference in stress levels. Lastly, lay out your issue in full and in complete honesty to someone you trust. If you don’t have someone you trust, then a therapist like Jay mentions is great. There is this grand misconception that going to a therapist means there is something wrong with you, or that you should only go if there is something wrong with you. NO!!! Like Jay says, a therapist can literally be that person that will just listen to you and you can trust them to not rat you out to someone else. They’ll also give their honest feedback on what you can consider doing. -
Another option is playing a game or doing a puzzle. Sudoku is a great puzzle for clearing your mind.
When it comes to games, I prefer to stick to ones that take 5 minutes or less. The marathon RPG games or games you can play for hours on end without an evident stopping point IMO are unhealthy. They will increase stress!
Arcade games and pinballs are great stress relievers. They were literally designed to be played for an average of 2-3 minutes per credit. While you may not have these machines in your house, there is an emulator called MAME where you can play them on your computer. You can even buy real arcade controls to plug into your PC. If you live near a big city, most of them now have multiple BarCades in them that have tons of games on free play.
-
-
Outside of the eBay realm, I was on an off ramp with a work vehicle. We were stopped waiting for others in front of us to go through a stop sign. We were inching up and I really just tapped the bumper of the guy in front of me. We exchanged information since there was no damage to either vehicle and went our separate ways. A few days later, I received a bill for $1200 to replace the back bumper of the other vehicle. Since there had been no damage, I didn’t report it to my company and now it was too late (I could have been disciplined for not reporting the same day). I went to the repair place and asked how they could give that estimate and the guy said that there was no damage, but he was asked for an estimate on what it would be to replace the bumper. I ended up paying it sending a note with my personal address (in another state) telling him that I believe in Karma and if he found that he was experiencing bad juju because of what he did, he could return the funds. Of course, I never heard from him again (this was about 6 years ago) but it made me feel better that he knew that I knew (even after he threatened to report me to my company for not reporting it in the first place). Some people just aren’t worth my time and energy. I only have so much time and energy in a given day and if waste either on someone not worth it, then it becomes my problem. Good luck to you!
-
-
- You must be logged in to reply to this topic.