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I have received messages from a buyer stating that the items that I am selling are hers that were accidently sold at a sale. But, the buyer is asking that I sell them back to her for a $1 each.
This is a unique situation that I have not encountered before.
Two things here:
1. I am going to verify that she is the rightful owner. How? I keep detailed records (Mike from Atlanta – I guess this does come in handy in situations like this, because I know you do the same thing) of where I buy things and how much I pay for them. She will have to give me the address of where these items were bought 3 years ago (3 years folks).
2. I will need to at least recoup my cost from her. $1 per item is not going to cut it. I paid $2 each for the items. Then I paid $4 each to get them listed. When they sell, I will have to pay the $.10 insertion fee per month (36 months), and the final final value fee and the paypal fee. Also, my shipping cost of $3 (she will meet me locally, but that is actually more expensive that just shipping cause that will take more time). This doesn’t even include my storage cost, driving cost, etc.
Here is the breakdown;
COG $2
Paid to list $4.00
Shipping Cost $3.00
insertion fee $3.60
for 36 Months
(can’t remember the name
for that)
Selling Price $16
Final value Fee (@ 15%) $2.40
Paypal fee (@ 4%) $0.64
Final Cost $15.64Mike: I know you could think of 100 other costs to include. I have calculated that if I charge $16 per item, I will just about come out even.
What do you all think is a fair price to charge?
Mark
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antarestar,
Doesn’t look like it is a scam. She was able to verify the address that I bought them at and the approximate time frame when they were sold.
This is either a case of buyers remorse from an estate sale, or her parents sold her stuff (she is young) without her consent at the estate sale.
Mark
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It’s really your personal preference. You’re not obligated to give her anything. If something was sold on accident, this is between her and whoever ran the sale.
I’m sure we’ve all had these instances when someone says an item was in their family, VERY special, etc. And they want it back for free or cheap. My feeling is that if the items are important they should be willing to pay for it since we, as Scavengers, saved it from the dump.
We had a woman threaten us if we didnt return some 1950s artwork to her friend. She didnt say it was stolen…simply that her friend’s signature is on it so she owned it. Obviously insane logic.
You bought and listed these three years ago and she’s just now wanting them back…and for almost free? There’s price on the items. Why does she not buy outright?
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Jay,
She is all over the board. She says that any normal person would give them back at cost. Which I did, and she already bought them and I gave them to her at a Local Pick up at McDonalds. She says I am lying about the cost. She says I am lying about the insertion fee each month. There is no talking to her. I told her to call around and see how much it is to have someone take pictures (which I said in another thread is about $20-$25 at full price) and list your item. Her response was that I probably listed them myself (which I didn’t, I paid to get them listed) . What makes the difference? Isn’t my time worth something? Apparently not. I am not going to mark this as shipped. Will that prevent them from leaving feedback?
If it were me, I would be so glad to get my yearbooks back, I would gladly pay that price.
Mark
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I noticed that her city is one of the best cities in the Detroit area. So, I looked it up and she lives in a nearly 600K house and drives a nearly new vehicle. And she is quabbling about paying me what it cost me? Unbeliveable.
Mark
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People are crazy. Don’t let their crazy ruin your day or week!
I was once threatened over an old family bible. Lots of talk about how I’d burn in hell because selling bibles was a sin (HAHAHAHA! So selling the bible is what’s going to make me burn in hell, and not any of the other nonsense I’ve been up to? lol) and that I was destroying another family’s history (the bible had genealogy info in it that I was happy to forward on). Blah blah blah.
On the flip side, I was approached by someone that wanted to buy all the items I got from their relative’s estate. There was some sort of family squabble where the relatives in California didn’t communicate with the relatives in Texas, and the Cali people got nothing when the house was sold. They approached through a 3rd party and said they’d buy anything I had. I got $100-ish, they got their family photos and were happy with the price. I probably could have gotten more for the photos, but they were very polite and I didn’t want to be a jerk about it.
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I think you are engaging too much with this person. I personally would even block them from purchasing from your store – you just don’t know how much craziness is in some people. They may try to purchase and return something different. Unless it is photographs or personal documents from them, you really don’t owe anyone, not legally (I assume you still have receipts for the transactions) or morally. The deal was between you and the Estate company. I would just tell them that they need to contact the Estate Company they worked with so they can contact you. Should the Estate company contact you (a stretch here), you may want to negotiate with them where you come out on top with some profit.
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Yes, there is no more responding. Glad to get rid of crazy. I was so happy when I started dealing with normal polite people again!
I am trying to think of what the real lesson is here. My analogy is that I stopped to help someone who had fallen on the ground, but when I went to help them up, they kicked me. I don’t want to stop helping people, but I don’t want to get kicked either. They key is to know which people will likely kick you, and that is sometimes hard to tell. But even if I suspect the person will kick me, I would feel bad just letting them lay on the ground (figuratively speaking). I don’t know the answer to fixing this in the future. Hopefully this situation will not happen again. It was like a 1 in a million kind of thing where crazy met the improbable and then having to deal with that.
Mark S
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Mark,
To your analogy, my thinking is that if being kicked for doing nice thing X is a rare occurrence, the answer (for me) is to go ahead doing X, run away whenever kicking starts, and develop the emotional intelligence (go 1990s!) to be able to let the rare kick slide right off your back. Yeah, and once I figure out that last piece, I’ll start selling consulting sessions on how to do it. 🙂Another thought: getting kicked doesn’t take away from the good you did. You didn’t do it b/c you wanted to be appreciated (although that would have been nice); you did it b/c you’re a nice person. Don’t let someone stressed out over their own problems and fears make you less nice.
Thanks for sharing your experience.
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Wow, that is an insane story. I can’t believe that:
a) you still had the items on eBay for sale 3 years later.
b) the other person somehow found the lost items on eBay (again, after 3 years).
c) the other person had the audacity to demand the items back (for free).
d) you remembered where you bought this stuff and have records of it (I don’t keep any records like that).
e) you were nice enough to accomodate this person’s request, only charged them a nominal amount, and willingly met up with them in person.
f) instead of being grateful, the person instead complained and insinuated you were dishonest.
You are a saint. If someone contacted me with that request, I would tell them if they want it so bad, buy it back at my asking price. Don’t give that wretched excuse for a person another thought.
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Zach,
Thank you for your kind words.
You got the story pretty much. Although, she didn’t insinuate I was dishonest, she said I was lying about nearly everything (says the person with no facts). She thought you don’t pay anything until an item sells, saying I was lying about the fees each month to get an item relisted.
But it wasn’t till we were setting up the details of the meet up that she started acting crazy. Up till then, she was playing the “Merry Christmas” card (like the guy who offered me $10 for a $50 item and put “Merry Christmas” in the offer – I believe in a Merry Christmas, buy don’t use it tool to play on people) , etc.
So, it was a hook and bait deal, not a straight forward bad request to start. To my analogy, it was like the person that had fallen and was asking for help. You go to help them and in the process they start kicking you.
Mark
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I think the heart of the issue goes back to what Jay said about the artwork he had “We had a woman threaten us if we didnt return some 1950s artwork to her friend. She didnt say it was stolen…simply that her friend’s signature is on it so she owned it.”
I think this lady thought she owned it because her name was on it (a yearbook). I think if this happens to you, the thing to make clear is that the property was turned over to you at the legal sale of the item, it doesn’t matter who’s name is on it.
Mark
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I have an opposite story to this one. I purchased three photo albums/scrapbooks from a Goodwill for $18 all in. After looking through them, there was enough information to track down the family. Their father was a high ranking military guy (even has a Wikipedia page). The albums were compiled by their mother and detailed her time in high school, college (opposite sides of the country) and meeting their father. So, after thinking about sentimental value I decided to locate the family. I googled like hell and finally was able to track down one of the sons at a place of business. He was very appreciative and passed me on to his sister. I talked to her on the phone and she said she would confer with the family, but that they had taken what they wanted from the estate and they themselves being older, didn’t want more stuff and/or to burden their children, etc. I found that sentiment odd as it was just three photo albums. Regardless, I never heard back from them. I would have given them back at shipping cost (and just ate the purchase price) because it was so personal. So it goes. I’ve sold one for $300, some other single items I pulled out and still have two for sale.
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BourbonTrailBazaar,
Wow, I can’t believe the family would pass on that. I don’t get too sentimental about furniture, or other things just because my family owned it. But I do try to hold on to very personal items like photos, yearbooks, etc that are very personal and are quite small.
Mark
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Agreed. I felt it was the right thing to do when I found them as I would appreciate the same courtesy if ever in that position. Maybe there is more to the story, I don’t know. Regardless, I gave them the opportunity and they passed.
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Some people dont like their families and/or parents. Memories dont want to be kept. This is the dark reality of Scavenging through people’s stuff.
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Jay,
“Some people dont like their families and/or parents. Memories dont want to be kept.”
That is a good point, I hadn’t thought of that. For those of us who love and cherish our families, that is a hard concept to take in, but I guess if you really hated your family, then it would make sense.
Mark
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One of the best auctions we went to was at a local property on a big piece of land. There were two auctioneers selling off everything inside and outside the house. Took all day.
The home was owned by a couple who had recently died. There was a group of people poking around who said they were they were family. Supposedly the couple who passed away disliked their family and donated all auction proceeds to an animal shelter. Assume the couple got more love from their animals than their family.
The family probably didnt want the memories, just money. The couple must have known this. Revenge is best served cold 🙂
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I learned a lesson years ago that applies to ebay as well.
My wife and I can crochet. My wife is very, very good and can make anything from scratch without a pattern. I am…passable and can do the grunt work of just banging out rows.
Anyways, we used to make crocheted items as presents. We made a baby set for a friend as a shower gift – a blanket, a hat, and a custom elephant rattle toy. 2 years later we saw it still boxed on top of their refrigerator.
There were other items for family that we’d soon see at their yardsales and it always hurt.
The nail in the coffin was when we made a blanket that we spent countless hours on for my mom….she opened the lid of the gift and said “oh that’s nice.” I had to basically force her to even take it out to actually look at it. I was PISSED and swore to never make anything as a gift for friends/family ever again.
I loved the items my wife made for me and would request things for birthdays and Christmas. Her wedding present to me was a greek puzzle afghan that is still my favorite blanket. I’ll likely be buried with it when I die. One year she made me a custom Mario plush doll and a pillow with a pixelated image of pacman on it. I posted pictures of them to an arcade group I was a member of, and people started asking if she would make them things.
Before long, we were making tons of items and my wife was even featured in an arcade collecting magazine. We sold very expensive one of a kind items to people all over the world. We consistently received messages from folks who were incredibly thankful, and these items were prized pieces of their collections. Multiple repeat customers too. Eventually we got busy with more kids and didn’t do it anymore. It felt GOOD to create items that were actually appreciated…and by complete strangers at that.Anyways, how this relates to ebay…
Giving things to friends family is 9 times out of 10 never appreciated. Yet, I can sell a used item rescued from the dump to a stranger on the other side of the world for an obscene amount of money and they will sometimes take the time to write me a personal thank you note to let me know how much it meant to them that I was able to provide this item to them.
The books you were selling…or those photo albums mentioned above that the family didn’t want… somewhere in the world will be someone who will see them, buy them, appreciate them, and have some intended use for those items that will bring meaning to those items.
That is a really powerful motivator for me to keep selling used junk on ebay. Because in reality, it is a treasure to someone and I like knowing that I am able to connect people to their personal treasure, whatever it may be.
So don’t fret when an entitled person comes along demanding your items for free or cheap. Don’t feel bad to ignore their rude messages or about telling them the price is firm. Eventually that item will land with the person it belongs to in its “second life” as a treasure.
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I am so sorry your handmade gifts to your friend were not appreciated! I crochet as well and don’t make many gifts for others anymore. People don’t understand how much time and money it takes to make these things.
I am crocheting a little World of Warcraft Murloc for my husband as a tiny surprise for Christmas. It’s a fun little project and I think he’ll get a kick out of it.
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